I Reserve the Right... To Change

This morning, I had breakfast with my friend Josh Shear (@josh_shear on Twitter). Josh is exceptionally well read and informed, has great insights, and we always have great conversations. Plus, he's a bit direct, so when he has something to say he tends to get to the point without a lot of fanfare.

For example, I noticed a couple of guitar cases in the corner of his living room, and I made an exceptionally astute observation, "Hey, Josh; you've got TWO guitar cases." Josh, in his Josh-like manner, said "Ya got two guitars, they won't fit into one case." That kind of direct (I smiled.).

When I walked into his kitchen, I was greeted by some very appetizing aromas. He'd prepared an excellent breakfast, timed to serve as soon as I arrived, so after some pleasantries he delivered this feast to the table and we chatted and consumed. I drank the lion's share of his double-brewed coffee, then after clearing away the breakfast dishes, we retired to his living room to finish catching up.

Having been duly informed regarding guitars, cases and the limitations of time and space, I asked whether he played guitar in any of the local establishments, and he said no. "I had a CD in 2003... sold them all and just have a few left." I held out my hand expectantly, saying, "well...what's up? I don't have one" and waiting for him to give up the bounty, and he stated quite matter-of-factly, "No."

"... that music is no longer representative of who I am."

I was stunned! but not for the apparent reason. I was not stunned that he said "No." I was stunned by the elegant simplicity of his statement!

How many people are TIED to an identity that no longer reflects who they are? TRAPPED inside identities they feel they cannot change? How many people do you know who are stuck in "that's just the way I am; I can't change it" or "people know me; this is what they expect of me..." How many people are saddled with an identity that is "no longer representative" of who they are -- or more importantly, who they want to be? Are you?

If you are, perhaps this is your own personal independence day. Anthony Robbins says, "the past does not equal the future." Who you were is not who you have to be!

So, repeat after me:

• "I reserve the right to change."
• "I reserve the right" to NOT be the person I was years ago.
• "I reserve the right" to be someone other than the person you thought I was back then.
• "I reserve the right" to become different, stronger, learn more, grow more, and get better.
• "I reserve the right" to leave behind an identity that does not empower me.
• Dear self: I am not that old self-limiting person I used to be. That image of me is no longer representative of who I am."

What a powerful, incredibly freeing concept. The next time you start to doubt yourself or feel a pull to do something that's not you anymore, go to your mirror and look into your own eyes and say, "I'm not that person! That stuff is no longer representative of who I am." Then pat yourself on the back for noticing ;-)

That's your first step. Stayed tuned for more.

Have an awesome day.

Kelvin

A Winning Attitude!

Every once in a while something happens that is especially exciting :-) This week, two such things made my day! I enjoy being a positive influence in people's lives and individuals often tell me how I've been helpful for them. But this week "my attitude" got shouted from the rafters, so to speak, when Syracuse Post-Standard reporter Amber Smith posted a news article featuring me, along with 4 others in Central New York, has having winning attitudes (http://tinyurl.com/qgoj2y). Works for me ! Thanks, Amber, for making me feel special.

Secondly, I did a portrait session for my friend and fellow photographer Renee Marquis. I've had people appreciate my work before, but Renee is making me feel like I'm the only photographer on the planet, and I don't mind that feeling either (even if it does leave me a lot to live up to. LOL). I'll defer to her comments regarding the images along with the cool slide show she put together. Thanks, Renee, for making me feel special.

There ya go. Elated... but humble.

Have a great weekend.

Kelvin

Take a Day to Celebrate YOU!

In our fast paced world, we are ever confronted with all the ads and hype that tell us we need to improve our lot, our looks, our lives, and every single facet of our existence. I, personally, am on a quest to daily improve myself and my skills, my health, the quality of my interactions and relationships with other people, my financial status.

But sometimes, we get so caught up in making our improvements that we forget to appreciate the person we are "today." While keeping our eyes on our goals and where we want to go and be, we sometimes forget to celebrate how far we may have come from where we *were* at one time. I fully believe in Tony Robbins' CANI (pronounced ka-nigh' : Constant And Never-ending Improvement), and like Dr. Charles Jarvis says, it's not enough to be "...yourself. You need to be your best self."

But the best self we are today, is different than the best self we were 5 years -- or even one year -- ago. We've learned more, lived more, realized more, overcome more, grown more. Each of us on the planet is a work in progress, and who and what we'll be tomorrow, will be built on the foundation of who we are today.

So celebrate who you are today! Take a day to relax from the hamster wheel of improvement, and luxuriate in the knowledge that you are a better person today than you were a year ago. Stand in front of a mirror, pat yourself on the back, look yourself in the eye and say, "Hey me! We're doin' okay. Thanks for being you." Then give yourself a wink, and walk away confident that you're the best you that you know how to be, today... and you can learn a little more tomorrow.

But for now, it's Celebrate "You" Day -- and you thought you'd never have a holiday named after you ;-)

Have an awesome day.

Kelvin

6 Steps to Being Positive

I get it all the time: "Kelvin, how do you stay so positive?"; "Kelvin, are you always like this? Is your cup always half full?"; "I was down; I needed my Kelvin fix..."; "Oh, just what the doctor ordered, Kelvin; I knew you'd have a positive slant for me." "Hey, can you Kelvinize that?" "You're just naturally positive..."

Actually, I'm not just naturally positive -- at least I wasn't in the beginning. I was positive, first, by decision, and by choice. I've conditioned myself over the years to cultivate a positive outlook. Tony Robbins says that nothing in life has any meaning, except the meaning we give it. So you can choose to give life a meaning that empowers you, rather than cripples you. Zig Ziglar says that positive thinking won't let you do everything; but it will be let you do anything better...than negative thinking will.

So here's the short list of what you can do to be more positive, if you want to make this a life philosophy:

1. Make a decision!
Yes. DECIDE to be positive. How many happy, negative people do you know? Make the choice to be positive and uplifting and your life will change immediately. Make the decision to do what you need to do, to cultivate that winning attitude.

2. Turn off the news ! All of it.
I took a challenge many years ago to stop listening to the news -- radio, tv and newspapers. We are assaulted daily with all the bad news there is from around the WORLD -- a constant barrage of negative -- delivered with intensity and emotion -- and, 99% of it, you have zero power to change and the majority of that is not even in your city or state ! Turn off the news, and tune in to your own power.

3. Associate with positive people. Period.
Birds of a feather flock together. It's hard to fly with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys. Associate with people who love life and concentrate on the possibilities in life -- not the liabilities in life. Seek them out! If you need help finding some, let me know. I can help :-)

4. Refrain from negative conversation -- especially self talk.
This might sound redundant but it's easy to be drawn into negative conversation and you'll find yourself processing that. When you find yourself in or about to enter a negative conversation... disengage, have an appointment, go to the bathroom or whatever you need to do, to disengage. Gossiping around the water cooler at work... is deadly. More importantly, you spend hours and hours each day chattering to your yourself, in your head. See what disempowering things you're saying to yourself that you don't realize.

5. Read something positive every day -- on purpose! (note: this does NOT include a newspaper)
Especially just before going to sleep at night. Spend 15 minutes reading something positive, uplifting, empowering. Then the last thing on your mind before sleeping is something positive, and when you wake up in the morning you'll have a different mind set, because your brain had that positive to work on all night.

6. Do something nice for someone -- and don't let them know it was you ;-). I don't have to explain that. Y0u felt good just thinking about it, didn't you? Admit it.

7. Lastly... (*this is a bonus) find the song by Rare Earth; "I Just Want to Celebrate, Another Day of Living." It's on their Millennium album. Listen to it first thing in the morning -- on the way to work would be awesome -- and a couple of times during the day. I defy you to listen to that song (fairly loud, too) ... and not feel better. I defy you.

That's enough for now. I've got some recommended reading, but if you want to know about that, check out my web site for the three books that changed my life. Okay?

Follow this prescription for two weeks... and you'll never stop. Experts say, it takes 14 days to develop a new habit. Do this for 14 days. Make a habit of being positive, and I promise you your world will change.

Have an awesome day.

Kelvin

It's Your Attitude, You Know

I had a meeting today. I hate (most) meetings, and this one in particular, because 99% of the time (I feel) it has no relevance to me. Worse, I had to walk 10 to 15 minutes, in the Syracuse c-c-cold, to get there!

So I got my grumpy self up (as grumpy as I get, at least) from my desk, donned my coat, hat and gloves, and headed out. It was cold so I walked briskly -- picked up the pace. Crossing the street, dodging cars, walking fast, up the hill, jump over that pothole... when I noticed that I was humming a catchy little tune, thinking pleasant thoughts and... and... enjoying the walk -- cold and all! I laughed at myself.

My morning would have been much more pleasant if I had chosen that attitude -- instead of the one I did. You might say, "but you didn't choose" the attitude, but in fact... I did. I didn't want to go to the meeting, I intentionally adopted that attitude, that mind set, and then I fed it... kept reinforcing the feeling, telling myself how much I hated meetings and how silly it was and staying annoyed. Then, during the walk I got side-tracked and forgot to feed it and my natural (habitual) mind set took over and there I was... happy, enjoying the walk and the exercise, the brisk winter air and the beaming sunshine.

Be aware of the attitude you choose, and be aware of what you tell yourself to feed it and keep it going! If you're angry over something, listen to your self talk and see if you're not continually feeding that anger. If you've been sad about something for a while, listen to your inner conversation and you'll discover that you're constantly telling yourself how sad you are and why, and how "whatever your circumstance" is unfair and ... actively blocking any thoughts to the contrary, because... that attitude must be feed, to live.

So, take control of your mind ! It's your attitude -- choose one that's better for you, and and feed that one!

Let me know how you do.

Kelvin

Theory Versus Reality

I received an email, recently, from Nightingale Conant. It read -- in part -- like this:

Well said, Yogi. There are two versions of you that exist.

There’s the “theoretical you” that exists somewhere between your wants and desires and your worthwhile intentions. Perhaps that part of you got up at five this morning and ran six miles or got to work an hour early or made a five-course dinner for your family last night.

Then there’s the “real you.” The one people see every day. The one that produces real results.

Your best advice to improve your life: Introduce the “real you” to the “theoretical you.” The more you learn from each other, the further in life you’ll go.

Good advice, don't you think?

Good News Order of the Day?

Apparently, I wasn't the only one asking for good news to share with my readers, but I guess this fella had a larger audience to work with than I did :-)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29556042/

Still? Good news is good news, so... feel free to still pass it on, if you are so inclined.

Kelvin

Fortune Cookie

I got a fortune cookie recently that read: "All things in moderation; including moderation..."

Is it time to kick it up a notch?

Lessons in Excellence

If you're reading this blog, then chances are you're a winner -- or at least want to be. You come here looking for something uplifting, invigorating, motivating or even funny :-)

If you're accomplishment oriented, one of the things you might consider are the daily Lessons in Excellence published on my website at http://www.ringold.net. These little daily nuggets get you going and help keep you focused on your goals... and they're free.

So once a day, hop on over to www.ringold.net and grab a lesson in excellence.

Go ahead. You deserve it.

Kelvin

And the Good News Is...

I've been looking around the web lately and it seems that everybody wants to tell you how bad and gloomy it is. And you know what? We're not in denial that times are hard for some, but in spite of it all, there are people -- regular people, just like you and me -- who are making it work, finding what there is to be grateful for, turning lemons into lemonade, and finding the silver lining behind their clouds. You get enough bad news... I'll be working on bringing you some good news! of smiles and news of hope and accomplishment!

As a matter of fact, I just created a new email address. If you have something good to point out, let me know. Send an email to "gotsomegoodnews@ringold.net" Make some people happy, point to where the bright side is ! Share some silver linings! Have you found a way to overcome? get past some obstacles? turn lemons into lemonade? Do you know of acts of extraordinary kindess? Something that will warm the heart!? Then you've "gotsomegoodnews@ringold.net". Send it to me.

You can write it, tell me about it, give me a link to it, or whatever you need to do so I know it's credible. I'll post as much as I can. If it gets too overwhelming, I'll find another way to share your good news, but for right now... we'll try this.

Also, for the record, I'm not collecting (keeping) the email addresses that send to "gotsomegoodnews@ringold.net". So, if you want to see your news published you can sign up for this blog (see the box on the right), or subscribe via RSS feed (also at right), or just check back later / often and see if it gets posted.

Positive, Upbeat, Motivational and Uplifting - ONLY! will be added! You can get your bad news someplace else.

Have an awesome day!