Have a Frivolous Friday!

I was talking with a friend a few weeks back, and she was telling me about one of her co-workers who as upbeat and positive and liked to add adjectives to his daily greetings, like marvelous Monday, terrific Tuesday, wonderful Wednesday and the like. After all, "marvelous Monday" is much more uplifting than, "Ugh... back to the grind."

I thought it a rather smashing idea, and considering you shouldn't use the same adjective each week, can become quite challenging coming up with new ones. BUT... I love it. Yesterday could have been a thundering Thursday, for instance.

At any rate, today I borrow the thing that my friend borrowed from her co-worker. I wish you a Frivolous Friday! Do something fun today -- make someone smile ! (someone new, not just the normal crowd you pal around with.) Make it a movement to SPREAD a little joy!

I'll be listening to see how creative you got :-)

Have a happy!

Kelvin

An Air of Expectancy; An Air of Hope

I watched the election results in awe, last night... and was totally moved by the experience. It's been a long time since that many people united with that kind of spirit. It was indeed a historic moment in time.

A number of people have said to me, "Congratulations; you have a new president!" and I make one small correction. WE -- the people of the United States -- have a new president; and if you caught even a brief glimpse of the crowds in the newscasts, it is plain that this is far from being just "a Black thing." Barack Obama -- the man -- reached across color and party lines to touch the hearts and minds of a whole bunch of people of all races, nationalities and belief systems, with a message that has created an overwhelming air of hope, and an air of positive expectancy in the people of the United States, and around the world (I've already gotten some positive international feedback). With such an intense air of hope and positive expectancy, it is virtually impossible not to have forward progress in the next 4 years.

The question, now, is how can you -- we -- as individuals develop a plan and vision that creates that kind of hope and positive expectancy in our personal lives? What is our plan for our own personal financial recovery and stability? our own war on the negatives in our lives, our individual plan for enhancement of our personal and business interactions and relationships, or our individual spiritual development or... whatever? Barack Obama has one for the country, but we as individuals need to have one for our own personal universe, and when we create that vision for ourselves, we can each experience our own, personal historic moments.

Congratulations America! for being able to see beyond the surface to catch the Vision ! Now let's do the same in our personal lives.

Stay tuned.

Kelvin

Happy Birthday to me... Happy Birthday to me...

Greetings, world! I, Kelvin P. Ringold, Sr. wish to announce that today -- October 24, 2008 -- is the 25th anniversary of my 30th birthday (that means I'm 55) and I am excruciatingly happy to be alive and well and happy, and loved by family and many friends.

"Back in the day", I used to look at 55 as being old, and now here I am ! But I don't feel old; I feel vibrant, and youthful and full of life, and I'm looking forward to all the things I plan to accomplish and enjoy in the NEXT 55 years!

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote this passage, that I'd like to share it with you:

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."

Today, I feel very successful.

So here's to life! May you cherish every minute, and not waste a day. May you find ways to be happy and appreciate your existence on this planet, and help a few others appreciate theirs. Take some time and THINK about all the things in your life that you can be grateful for -- and as well as the things you can be grateful that you don't have -- and meet this and every day with vigor and an attitude of gratitude.

I wish for you all to feel as great as I feel right now.

Have an awesome day, my friends. Thanks for reading.

Kelvin

The Great Energy Drain...

There is perhaps *something* in your life -- some task, chore or obligation? -- that's plaguing you, that you're putting off. Maybe there's a good reason and maybe there's not, but it's probably absorbing a good deal of your mental energy, and the "avoidance" is using more energy in the long run than actually doing whatever it is you're avoiding.

Just do it! Easier for me to say now, particularly since I just conquered such a demon of my own. But when I look now at the mental "lot" where that giant energy sponge used to be, I see clarity and light, and room for more progress.

There's tremendous power in a decision. So look your demon in the eye, decide to tackle it, and right then... do something to start. Without immediate action... your brain will know you're bluffing, and it won't respect you. A decision without action is not a decision.

Have an awesome day.

Something Inspirational

Moving and inspirational, soothing and simultaneously invigorating. When you have a few quite moments, go to this site and watch / listen to this presentation. (Feel free to disregard the marketing messages; I'm sending it for the content only.)

http://www.elliedrake.com/movie/bhp_movie.php?movie=short

Have a beautiful day.

Kelvin

Friendship

"Friendship is the inexpressible comfort
of feeling safe with a person,
having neither to weigh thoughts
nor measure words."

I hate losing friends. It causes a disturbance in my force.

Losing a friend to death is sad. Losing a friend to misunderstanding... is sadder.

Kelvin

The Pursuit of Happiness

When we're running the race to be successful, sometimes we get so wrapped up in the pursuit that we forget about the happiness part. It has been said that happiness is not the destination; happiness is the journey. The journey should leave us energized, invigorated and excited about life and it's possibilities.

If your journey (pursuit) is leaving you drained and unhappy and unpleasant to be around... something is out of whack. Maybe your goals, maybe your "why", maybe your expectations, or your balance. Or maybe you're just running so hard that you forget that every once in a while your batteries need re-charging.

Take a day off from the pursuit; take an intentional moment to sit and relax, concentrate on and enjoy the parts of your life that are good. Get back in touch with -- appreciate and be grateful for -- the good and positive things, people and circumstances that already exist in your world. Take a day to enjoy your existing happiness... then get back to the pursuit "tomorrow."

It will be a good thing. Trust me.

Kelvin

The Art of Listening

A friend loaned me a CD some time ago, and I was (am) about to give it back to her, not having had time to fully listened to it yet, but I think I should only keep people's property so long lest it thinks it actually belongs in my house. At any rate, I was looking it over and the following quote by J. Krishnamurti gave me something to think about, and something I needed to hear, so I thought I'd share it with you.

"There is an art of listening. To be able really to listen, one should abandon or put aside all prejudices, preformulations and daily activities... But unfotunately most of us listen through a screen of resistance. We are screened with prejudices, whether religious or spiritual, psychological or scientific; or with our daily worries, desires and fears. And with these for a screen, we listen. Therefore we listen really to our own noise, to our own sound, not to what is being said. It is extremely difficult to put aside our training, our prejudices, our inclination our resistance, and, reaching beyond the verbal expression, to listen so that we understand instantaneously."

Something to think about, isn't it?

Kelvin

Re-igniting Passion

Every once in a while you wonder, "what am I doing and why am I doing it?" Sometimes... you just need to step back from life and give yourself a chance to breathe and reflect on what's really happening, and maybe even see things through someone else's eyes. That can apply equally to all areas of our lives: our jobs, hobbies, passions, relationships...

One of my passions is my photography business. I've been photographing professionally since 1983, first with very little training, and then with lots of training. I've become certified through the Professional Photographers Association and have even become president of Professional Photographers' Society of NY State , but still sometimes you have to step back and breathe.

This last week was awesome for me -- refreshed, challenged, socialized, appreciated, exercised! Who'd have thought you could get all that out of one teenie weenie week of "school" on something you've already been doing for over 20 years! But, I did. Got a new lease on my photographic life from this fellow named J. Michael McBride. Seeing the world through another's eyes and heart is sometimes just the window we need to look through. So, I've had a re-awakening, and a re-acquaintance with the reasons that I started doing what I do.

If you're asking yourself the same kind of questions about things in your life, find someone who's doing what you're doing, living the life you want(ed) to live, having the happiness you'd started out in search of... and get positioned to see the world through their eyes. Maybe you'll have a reawakening and a re-acquaintance too :-) Then, when you're all happy and beaming... call me. Maybe I'll hook you up with a nice portrait.

Have an awesome day!

Kelvin

Happy Birthday, "Peace"

On July 9, 1927 a child was born in Portsmouth, VA who was named, John Willie. 26 years later in 1953... John Willie became my father. Over the years, we came to call him "Peace", as a private joke amongst the family and some close friends.

You don't hear me mention him much... because over the years, my father and I... well... we had some issues, and to say that we didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things would be a bit of an understatement. Still, through all of that, there's a lot about me... and the person I became... that derives from him.

He was an educated man, most of which he didn't obtain until he was well into adulthood. He became a minister when I was a baby, and in following years amassed several degrees: Bachelor and Masters of Sociology, Bachelor of Theology, Master of Theology (I think), a Doctorate of Pastoral Psychology and an honorary Doctor of Divinity -- to name a few. And for many of those papers and theses... I was his young typist.


He died on August 22, 2002, losing his battle to prostate cancer which metastasized to his bones, and whether he and I saw eye to eye or not, that was a pain that I did not wish on him. Many people saw him as a hero -- many did not. The church was full for his funeral, and for the two hours of service we had for him the night before, which for anyone else would have been just "calling hours."

So, today is his birthday and he is on my mind. The inscription on the back of one of these photos reads, "To my son Kelvin, with love. Pop" The other reads, "To Kelvin and Michael, with love. Dad (Peace) / Pop-pop). I'm not really certain that I ever really said good-bye to him. It's 6 years later; I guess it's time.

To Reverend Doctor John Willie Ringold, Happy Birthday, Peace! Rest well. I loved you too.

Your son,

Kelvin

Make Somebody's Day!

I dashed to catch the elevator, this morning, "Can you hold that car, please?" After the customary amenities, "hi...what floor...5? Okay, thanks...." one of the occupants asked, "How are you today?" I said, "I'm wonderful. The sun is shining, no hurricanes, no tornadoes, no thunder storms... we're cooking with gas, here." She chimed in, "Yeah, no earthquakes, we got up this morning, moving around on our own power" (hmmm... made me wonder if she reads my stuff... LOL.) I said, "Exactly," and we chuckled.

Then we left elevator and approached the next door, which usually opens automatically when you get close (infrared-triggered, I suspect), but it didn't work. I said, "gosh... that used to open when I walked up to it; it made me feel special. I guess I'll have to find another way to feel special." My elevator partner responded, "Well, you made my day this morning, so that should make you feel special." I said, "Thank you, you're right. Meet you at the elevator tomorrow, same time."

Sometimes... it doesn't take a lot to brighten someone's day, and when you do, your day is brightened automatically.

So, make yourself happy. Go and brighten someone else's day.

Have a great one.

Kelvin

Born Leader... or not?

Born Leaders! They're out there, you know. We all know one -- resourceful, likeable, everything they touch turns to gold! Always on top of things, nothing ever phases them, nothing is ever a problem, nothing ever stands in the way of them winning; the epitome of "rags to riches" and "lemons to lemonade."

But, not all of us are so empowered, and if we happen to have that kind of success in one area of our life, we wonder why we don't have the same kind of success in the other areas of our life -- at least I do. How do I get off "pause" and press "play", and make my life work the way I want it to ?

A couple of weeks ago, I stumbled across something called ThinkTQ. It was an AdSense ad, really, on my friend Mitch's site. I don't remember why I went there, and have no idea why I clicked on the link -- I'm not a clicker. Yet, I clicked, and once I was there I became intrigued... then engrossed.

I've studied lots of success programs, read lots of books, listened to lots of tapes, yet somehow this one was different. It struck a different chord. Intentional Excellence! they call it, and they have a daily Lesson in Excellence - FREE. Intriguing. Not just a "motivational quote" but a complete daily lesson... with tips on how to make a difference "now." I don't know if it will have the same effect on you, but the first person I shared it with also became intrigued... then engrossed... then energized!

SO... I'm passing it on. I liked it so much that I incorporated their Daily Lesson in Excellence on my web site, and subscribed to their daily TQ.

So, if there's someplace you want to go, and you just can't quite seem to get there, but you really want to get off pause and get to "play", check it out. I'm not telling you to buy anything, I just want you to look around, kick the tires a bit. Check out the free stuff, the tests, read what they're all about... see how much you know about yourself.

I'm betting that you'll feel this is "something different." If you do, let me know.

ThinkTQ!

Kelvin

It ALL Boils Down to This

Is there really anything else to say?

Kelvin

Relationships: A departure

From time to time I get asked for input on relationships. I guess people figure I've had *enough* of them that I'm some kind of expert (cough). Regardless of what that statement really implies, in my time I have made some "distinctions" about relationships -- at least as they apply to me -- and I've decided to share a little of that from time to time. The thought of a separate blog has reared it's head and perhaps I'll do that if the response warrants it. But for now... we'll keep it here.

Some time ago, I received one of those "lessons learned" emails, and one of the lessons in it read, "Just because someone doesn't love you like you want to be loved, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they've got."

A true and powerful statement, really, but taken at face value it leads one to the assumption that because that person is giving us all they've got that we should accept that and make do. There was a time in my life that I probably felt that way, but not so much now.

We are who we are, and we need what we need to be happy and fulfilled, and anything less than that is ... well.... anything less than that ;-). Should you settle?

So, I thought about it for a while, and came up with Kelvin's corollary, which simply states, "Just because someone loves you with all they've got, doesn't mean it's enough." If you settle and it's not enough, what results -- in most cases -- is two people in a relationship (until there are children) that really isn't satisfying or fulfilling for either one of them. Do we really need more of that?

What do you think? Feel free to "weigh in."

Kelvin

All that from making a cup of tea...

I had a visitor this weekend who "taught" me something (speaking of the boxes we operate within...) and they don't even know it. My friend wanted some very hot water for her tea, so she got one of my pans, put water in it. placed it on the stove, then turned the burner (electric) up on VERY HIGH, and in short order -- seemed like just a few seconds, really -- the water was boiling feverishly and begging for attention.

In all the years I've used that stove to heat things up, it never dawned on me to turn the burner up on HIGH or VERY HIGH to heat it up quickly, then re-adjust the heat to the "operating" temperature I needed. I've always just turned it to medium and waited... and waited... and waited... until it crawled it's way up to where I needed the temperature to be.

Do you realize how much time I've wasted standing in front of that stove waiting for a pan of *something* to boil, or get hot... just using medium heat? (sigh)

I'm looking at other areas of my life, and realizing that I'm using just medium heat and waiting for something to happen when what I really need to do is turn it up on high and get it heated up quick... Then I can adjust my effort back down to where I need it to be to sustain it and keep it going.

Wow. Definitely a V-8 moment. And all that from just making a cup of tea.

Kelvin

Focus Pocus !?

I get the Motivational Quotes of the Day via email from Nightingale-Conant. I find them fascinating, and they help keep me on point. The one I received this morning read:

"Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives." ­Robert Collier

And that goes right along with probably my favorite, memorable quote from the book, Illusions:

"We magnetize into our lives what we hold in our thoughts."

We motivational types (yes, we motivators need motivating, too) usually highlight this principle so we remember that we need to keep our goals and our wishes and our desires out in front of us. We need to keep those things up front in "our thoughts" so they be manifested in our lives.

BUT... what if we hold negative thoughts in our minds? What if we hold thoughts of "this day sucks...", or "bad things always happen to me" or... "every time I take one step forward, I end up taking three steps back..." WHAT IF we hold *those* thoughts in our minds?

Yeah... the law is the law. This morning I was driving to work. Felt fine when I got up, got dressed, was rather happy to be alive, actually. But on the way to work, somehow, I managed to hook up with some thoughts about things that weren't particularly pleasing me and I didn't even notice that I was concentrating so intensely on these thoughts. By the time I walked into my office... about 15 minutes later... I had this unexplained (at the time) depression... until I figured out what had happened.

Negative or disempowering thoughts can creep into your mind, with no notice and no warning, and start working when you're not paying attention. So, as Tony Robbins says, you need to "Stand guard at the door to your mind..." and stay aware of the thoughts we allow to enter and grow. Focus Pocus ! What we focus on will appear in our lives -- whether we realize we're focusing on it or not.

Please pardon me whilst I go do some weeding in my mental garden.

Have an awesome day.

Kelvin

Conquer Self...

It really doesn't take much thought to "get" this. If we don't master ourselves, what we do, what and how we think, our own weaknesses and limitations, they will control us. That's a bit like getting in the car, pushing on the gas and letting go of the steering wheel.

Is that any way to run a life ?

Child Proof Caps

A truth of life. In order to open a child-proof cap, one needs to acquire a child. Given that logic, you might refrain from buying anything that is fool proof.

Uncle Ray Says...

I first posted this on Ringold.NET back on September 27, 2006. I think it's still relevant so I'm reposting again, with minor modifications....

Every once in a while you meet someone who says something that stays with you for the rest of your life. Uncle Ray is that kind of guy. He's not my Uncle Ray; he's actually my ex-wife's Uncle Ray, but I claim him, because he's cool. He's done a little of everything, and enjoyed it all, knows everything there is to know (just ask him), is one heck of a nice guy, and I think he's been married since they invented it.

A few years back, we were sitting around the picnic table for a 4th of July family gathering, and Uncle Ray stopped chewing on his stogy and said, "You know... a man chases a woman, until she catches him!" He used to do that -- just come up with those unexpected pearls of wisdom, and he was pretty proud of that one. We all chuckled, patted him on his balding head and passed him another hamburger.

A little bit later, he said, "A man marries a woman in the hopes that she will never change; and a woman marries a man in the hopes that he WILL" Hmmm. That was better than the first one, and since his niece was my 3rd wife, I could definitely attest to the authenticity of that statement!

Then, just before dessert, and just after he took those last few puffs on his stogie for the day, Uncle Ray said, "A woman marries a man, and then changes this and changes that, and nags him until he changes. Then she gets mad at him and says, 'you're not the man I married.' "

If I'd met Uncle Ray a bit earlier in my life, he could have saved me a lot of headaches, and three divorces. I was thinking that if I ever decided to get married again, I'd find him and take him to dinner and see if there was anything else he forgot to tell me ;-) But, instead, I happened across this book: All You Need Is Love & Other Lies About Marriage. Stopped me cold! I checked it out. Cool! Uncle Ray in paperback -- but without the cigar (whew!)

Great insights, truths of life, and things I... uh... you might not have thought about, before. In the last year or so, I've bought FIVE copies of this book, and I still don't own one, because people keep taking them from me. Everyone has said, "Thank you," but one person said, "you saved my marriage." That worked for me.

If you're going to get married, it's a must read. If you're already married and scratching your head... it's a must read. If you've been married and you're divorced and now you find someone you like... be SURE to read it before you get too serious again. If you're none of the above... read it anyway -- things can change quickly.

Right now, I'm going to order another copy, and see how long I keep this one.

Have an amazing day !

Kelvin

I'm Kelvin. I Solve Problems

I hold a position at a medical facility as an administrative assistant. The job has meant different things in different years, but one thing has remained constant over that period. Excluding patient care stuff, many times when there's been a problem that needed handling, the answer to the question of "how can we handle this?" has often been, "Ask Kelvin." I used to call myself the "shell answer man" of admin assistants, but a while back a practitioner I worked with asked me if I'd ever seen the movie "Pulp Fiction?" As luck would have it... the answer was "no, why?" She said, "You're like that guy in Pulp Fiction. 'I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems.' She said, "your name is Kelvin; you solve problems."

I liked that, although based on what little I know of the movie, I don't solve "that" kind of problem. But, all in all and in a growing number of circles, when something needs to be done, someone often says, "Ask Kelvin."

Why is that? Well, it's not that I'm so smart, but I do know how to find answers. And most answers come directly after I've asked a question. And anyone can ask a question, right?

Of course, sometimes it helps to know who to ask, and if you don't know who to ask, that becomes the first question: "Who do I know who might be able to answer this question, or point me to someone who can? "

Never underestimate the power of a simple question. It's how Einstein came up with the Theory of Relativity, and the first step in being able to say, "I solve problems."

If you'd like more positive, upbeat, motivating and uplifting food for thought, visit our full edition of Ramblings at www.ringold.net/ramblings.html.

Have an awesome day.

Kelvin

Hi, How Are ya? I Didn't Want Anything!

Every once in a while I get the urge to call somebody. Actually, occasionally I get the urge to call EVERYBODY, but that's usually not practical. But one of the things I like to do is call someone -- friend, sometimes someone I've worked with or collaborated with, or who's life I've made miserable with job or business related issues -- and just say, "Hi... How are ya? I didn't want anything, no work to do. You just crossed my mind and I wanted to say hello and wish you a happy day."

The first time I did that I thought we'd have to administer CPR because, for that person, when I was on the phone, it almost certainly meant "a problem" needed to be handled, or an issue resolved, or some other stress inducing factor was in play. So the phone rang, they saw my number, took a deep breath, prepared for the payload, "Hello, Kelvin..." and I said, "Hi Jill (not their real name) . I didn't really want anything. I figured I'd call you at least once when I didn't have any work for you to do, just to say hi and thank you for all you've done over the months to help me. You've always been great." And Jill (still not their real name) said, "Really?" I said, "Uh huh." They said, "Oh... wow... how nice. Thank you, I appreciate that."

I do that routinely now; not to the same person, of course, but every once in a while I just a call someone, even if it means I leave a message on their voice mail, and say "Hi... I don't want anything. You don't need to call back. I just wanted to say hi. Hope you're having an awesome day."

A phone call is more personal than an email -- and you know how I love email -- but if email is all you got then that works. But sometimes... your human voice saying "hi... I was thinking about you" has a more healing effect than anything you could possibly write, so every once in a while... just call.

Try it. You'll feel good about it... and they'll feel grrrreat !

Have an awesome day.

Kelvin

So I met this guy...

Who motivates the motivator? Who gets the person moving forward, who's been stuck in the same spot on the treadmill -- like that hamster on the wheel -- so all that sweat starts being the result of productivity, and not just aimless activity? Some say that is totally internal to the person involved: "You make a decision, and then you act on it. There is no decision without action." And I totally believe that to be true.

But sometimes, in doing the assessment that leads to making your decision, you find that there are things stopping you, blocking you from moving forward, and part of your decision might be to find someone -- a guru... a coach ... a mentor ... a compassionate friend, perhaps -- to help you identify the stuff that keeps you from making progress because, after all, if you already knew what was stopping you, you'd do something about it, right? But even then, if you decide to do something about it, what would you do?

Sometimes what turns the key to understanding -- and subsequently action -- is something as simple as a single question, and many times that question has to come from someone outside of ourselves.

So... I met this guy. Actually, he called me (and got my voice mail) to do some networking after a chamber of commerce event that I'd missed. He was just going down the list of absent members, introducing himself and telling us about his coaching business. I liked his style, his presentation, and figured "what have I got to lose? It's networking." So I called him back and got his voice mail, left my message, and after several iterations of that , we finally met.

Now sitting face to face, doing the normal positioning banter, checking each other out to see if each of us is who we "discerned" the other to be via our phone messages -- king's pawn to king 3, etc. Turns out Steve decided he needed to meet me, just to find out WHO the person was who could leave a voice mail message as long as the one I'd left him ! (I do write "Ramblings "... after all)

So, we'd gotten past that and had been talking a while (he mostly listening); I told him what I'm involved in, some of my immediate and intermediate goals, what my time lines are, and he smiled and asked, "so, what's your end game?" Kelvin became silent. I am unaccustomed to people asking me a question that stops me cold... and makes me think that hard... that fast (perhaps that's why he's the business coach and I'm not). Some things we've not equated to such simple concepts that we can pull in a flash, but... that's the real question, isn't it ? What is my end game? So I told him the truth -- more or less: "I'm just now defining that... let me get back to you."

Of course, being who I am, I managed to also ask *him* a question that gave him a bit of pause, though not as long a pause as he gave me, and after 90 minutes of conversation with this man, I felt invigorated, refreshed, challenged and respected -- not a bad mix for a 90 minute cup of coffee.

So who knows. Maybe you have a hurdle or two you don't seem able to get over up to now. Maybe a no-cost consultation will help you see a direction. Who can say? Check him out. Maybe Steve has a question that you need to think about. I don't recommend many people -- I'm hard to impress (smile).

Have an awesome day.

Kelvin