Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Relationships: A departure

From time to time I get asked for input on relationships. I guess people figure I've had *enough* of them that I'm some kind of expert (cough). Regardless of what that statement really implies, in my time I have made some "distinctions" about relationships -- at least as they apply to me -- and I've decided to share a little of that from time to time. The thought of a separate blog has reared it's head and perhaps I'll do that if the response warrants it. But for now... we'll keep it here.

Some time ago, I received one of those "lessons learned" emails, and one of the lessons in it read, "Just because someone doesn't love you like you want to be loved, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they've got."

A true and powerful statement, really, but taken at face value it leads one to the assumption that because that person is giving us all they've got that we should accept that and make do. There was a time in my life that I probably felt that way, but not so much now.

We are who we are, and we need what we need to be happy and fulfilled, and anything less than that is ... well.... anything less than that ;-). Should you settle?

So, I thought about it for a while, and came up with Kelvin's corollary, which simply states, "Just because someone loves you with all they've got, doesn't mean it's enough." If you settle and it's not enough, what results -- in most cases -- is two people in a relationship (until there are children) that really isn't satisfying or fulfilling for either one of them. Do we really need more of that?

What do you think? Feel free to "weigh in."