Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Uncle Ray Says...

I first posted this on Ringold.NET back on September 27, 2006. I think it's still relevant so I'm reposting again, with minor modifications....

Every once in a while you meet someone who says something that stays with you for the rest of your life. Uncle Ray is that kind of guy. He's not my Uncle Ray; he's actually my ex-wife's Uncle Ray, but I claim him, because he's cool. He's done a little of everything, and enjoyed it all, knows everything there is to know (just ask him), is one heck of a nice guy, and I think he's been married since they invented it.

A few years back, we were sitting around the picnic table for a 4th of July family gathering, and Uncle Ray stopped chewing on his stogy and said, "You know... a man chases a woman, until she catches him!" He used to do that -- just come up with those unexpected pearls of wisdom, and he was pretty proud of that one. We all chuckled, patted him on his balding head and passed him another hamburger.

A little bit later, he said, "A man marries a woman in the hopes that she will never change; and a woman marries a man in the hopes that he WILL" Hmmm. That was better than the first one, and since his niece was my 3rd wife, I could definitely attest to the authenticity of that statement!

Then, just before dessert, and just after he took those last few puffs on his stogie for the day, Uncle Ray said, "A woman marries a man, and then changes this and changes that, and nags him until he changes. Then she gets mad at him and says, 'you're not the man I married.' "

If I'd met Uncle Ray a bit earlier in my life, he could have saved me a lot of headaches, and three divorces. I was thinking that if I ever decided to get married again, I'd find him and take him to dinner and see if there was anything else he forgot to tell me ;-) But, instead, I happened across this book: All You Need Is Love & Other Lies About Marriage. Stopped me cold! I checked it out. Cool! Uncle Ray in paperback -- but without the cigar (whew!)

Great insights, truths of life, and things I... uh... you might not have thought about, before. In the last year or so, I've bought FIVE copies of this book, and I still don't own one, because people keep taking them from me. Everyone has said, "Thank you," but one person said, "you saved my marriage." That worked for me.

If you're going to get married, it's a must read. If you're already married and scratching your head... it's a must read. If you've been married and you're divorced and now you find someone you like... be SURE to read it before you get too serious again. If you're none of the above... read it anyway -- things can change quickly.

Right now, I'm going to order another copy, and see how long I keep this one.

Have an amazing day !



AmyK said...

I can truly relate to your perspective and although I am on marriage number two it is a struggling one and one that I am working tirelessly on to save. So, I think I will take your advice and look for this book! Uncle Ray sounds like a great guy to know and be around, and smart. Thanks for sharing your positivity and your wisdom. I, for one, appreciate it.

Kelvin Ringold said...

Hi, Amy!
Thank you for taking the time to comment. At least one person told me that this book saved their marriage! I recommended it to her amidst incredible problems, and a month later she was thanking me profusely. I hope it has similar gifts for you.

Ordering through Amazon might be cheapest -- Borders / Barnes & Noble would be fastest. LOL.

Have an awesome day. Stay in touch.